| The frustrated ramblings of an old young man.. |
[Nov. 18th, 2007|12:03 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Lil Wayne - Hard Body(Chopped & Screwed( | ] |
I had a rant on "The War on Terror" all prepared, but then another topic came to mind due to recent events that I think I'll go with first.
I hate niggas; yea I said it! Why do I hate niggas, here's a short list of some of the reasons:
1. They ain't bout shit
2. They complicate my dealings with women
3. They drain my resources (time, money, blank cd's, gas, etc)
Let me break down the recent dealing with a nigga that inspired this need to let me spew my hatred digitally all over cyberspace
My man Mike calls me wed night. He has a favor to ask, he needs to borrow my car to make a move. Well being the excessively nice fellow that I am, I agree to loan him the use of my automobile. However due to some complications, it turns out that I have to drive myself if the move is to be made. So we ride around the corner to the house of the one whom shall be hence forth referred to as dat lame nigga for the remainder of this rant. After bullshitting for 10-15 mins, dat lame nigga gets in the car, along with some anonymous t me female. Turns out she needs a ride home.
So we ride to Clinton, drop her off, then head to ward the City. Riding down Branch Ave, I ask Mike where is our destination. Dat lame nigga says we're going to Michigan Ave and North Capitol. I ask if he knows how to get there (I don't know how the best way to get downtown going into the city from Branch Ave). Of course dat lame nigga doesn't know how to get there @ all, which amazes me since I dont know how to get anywhere in the city, but its not that hard to get to north cap and just ride it out till u hit Mich Ave, but ok. So we ride suitland parkway to the city and north cap. We get to Mich Ave and he can't get in touch with the broad. Now let me go back a sec; apparently dat lame nigga pulled this female off the chat line and she has agreed to come out. However dat lame nigga has no transportation. Why you would try to get the pussy with no way to get the pussy I don't know, but he did. So we're on Michigan, sittin at the catholic university of america while we wait for this broad to call dat lame nigga back so we can find out where exactly this broad lives. Finally she calls and we find out she lives damn near right off north cap, so we ride down to a location she gives dat lame nigga to meet her at and commence once again to wait. Shawty arrives and we head back to the town.
We stop at sunnybrook and dam lame nigga buys some alcohol. Then we stop at exxon and that lame nigga buys some blunts and other stuff. He then asks how much I said I wanted for gas (I had told him $10 previously). Dat lame nigga then proceeds to give me $7.50, saying that's all he has left after making his purchases. I take it throw it in the tank and keep it movin (it's after 12 at this point and I just want to get in my bed). Once we're @ my house I tell Mike not to fall asleep like last time and head in the house. Now here's the timeline i imagine in my head, they bullshit for an hour, mike takes an hour with this broad, dat lame nigga takes an hour with that broad, and it takes an hour to drop her back off and return with me automobile. So I'm expecting a call from mike around 4 somethin.
A call comes round 3:30, it's mike returning with my car. Says dat lame nigga was bullshittin (read not gettin the drawers) so he left him and her at dat lame nigga's house. I take Mike home and figuire my role in this story is over.
Another call comes around 3:30 the next afternoon. It's dat lame nigga askin if I'm around the way. I tell him I'm at work and he says he'll call me when I get off. A bout 8 I get a call; it's dat lame nigga. Apparently he has not been able to find a way to get that poor girl home yet, and asks can I take her. Feeling bad for her, I feel partially responsible for getting her out here, I agree. On the way he asks me to stop so he can buy a bottle of beer. We drop off the young lady and back to the town we go. I ask him for $10 for gas and he says he doesn't have it. Dat lame nigga drunk some of my damn gas money right in front of me. He says he has some money coming to him and will give it to me the next day. Of course he never called to give me that but I expected as much.
On another note, during the writing of this, dat lame nigga called me to tell me he has part of my gas money. I figuire he just wants to ask a favor and the money is supposed to be bait (who only has part of ten dollars!?) but I figuired I better get money out of him while I can. I was right, he wanted a ride to the gane room. And begrudingly i took his lame ass cause it's just down the street.
This story and more is the reason why in the greater part of '07 this quote from a Lil Wayne verse has described fairly accurately how I've felt:
"I just bought a pint and ain't none of ya'll sippin'
Make my friends buy their own, fuck I'm tired bein' friendly"
with that said I'm tired if sitting here at this comp so my other planned rants will have to wait.
Till tommorrow I suppose.. |
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| Every time I've tried to update |
[Nov. 11th, 2007|03:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Theme Song - Slim Thug (Screwed & Chopped) | ] |
It seems like something pulled me away. But finally I'm back. I've been needing to call Cingular/AT&T about getting me a new phone, finally I've stopped procrastinating and got that done, hence the accomplished mood.
The job is cool, I just need more money. This is due to me being money hungry and also wanting to do things and I just don't have the funds to do them like I want. Hopefully, as I keep saying, when this contract is up, I'll get a nice lil pay raise.
To be honest, for what I'm doing, I'm being paid fairly well. I just want to be a lil more involved; I suppose thats what I should be saying. I really like this job, and I feel Like God put me there for a reason.
The Ex posed the question of us getting back together a couple of weeks ago and it threw me all off. I gave up on that a while back, and her coming to me with it was a shocker. Were circumstances different I would've jumped @ it, which is what I told her. However there is this other woman who has piqued my interest (not that that really has any bearing on my feelings for her), and when I told her that she pretty much shut the idea of us getting back together down. Apparently I can't want to be with her if another woman can interest me; go figure. With the way our schedules are, I don't know if she would get enough attention were we together. And my life is just going to get more busy if things go as planned. And then she is going off to school next fall, and i don't know if I want to do the long distance thing again. It's a tangled web indeed..
I realized yesterday, that chica that I'm interested in, can't be as interested in me as I am in her, or if she is she has a very strange way of showing it. Either way I think I'm gonna fall back on that and see what happens.
Why must women be so complicated, I'm a simple man.
I just want millions, a mansion, a wifey, a beautiful baby girl, and a nice lil collection of automobiles is that too much to ask?
..Gotta Grind to Shine, I'm Gone.. |
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| A long day... |
[Oct. 3rd, 2007|10:06 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tired | ] |
I know, today isn't the day after my last post, but I've thought about u everyday, I truly did.
Work is cool. We're near the due date for this deliverable and it seems like whatever can go wrong is. We'll make it happen though.
Today was, eh. I was tired all day, despite getting 8 hours of sleep ( I avg prolly around 7). I didn't do my morning walk (I've challenged myself to walk half a mile every morning on the treadmill before I get in the shower, cause everybody keeps telling me I'm getting fat/gaining weight). Work was extremely nonproductive due to some DBA messing up te backend to the webapp that we're writing automated tests for. I still left the office an hour and half after I usually leave though. I was suposed to meet one of my good friends in DC for her bday at this sushi bar, got lost on the way, the directions I got from yahoo werent the best (I blame the lameness of VA and it's not the directions though). Of course once I arrived @ the spot were she was supposed to be, she wasnt there. And I ended up getting lost on the way to where she was thanx to rhode island ave not corssing 13th st, or if it did I somehow missed it.
It's pay day though. Can't be upset on payday right, especially when ur check is direct deposited straight to your account, every week :D
I promise I'll have a rant for you soon (I listen to neal boortz and bill o'reily on the radio everyday , two hours each back to back, if nothing else I'll have something to say about something they've said)
I believe my political views are libertarian. Random, I know, just thought I'd throw that in there.
I'd prolly rant now if i werent tired..
Ah well, maybe I'll update @ work or something.
Time to wait till 6:45 AM to start it all over again |
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| Almost a year to the day... |
[Sep. 23rd, 2007|11:02 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | In A Sentimental Mood - John Coltrane | ] |
Freaky. Well I was considering going private, but forget it. It'll defeat the purpose. I'll just censor myself as necessary I suppose. Well let's see, in the past year, I've:
graduated form college
got a job
gone through 2 external hard drives (my latest is a 750gb beast which I plan on being around for a while
met some interesting folk
got another digital camera
went to Love for the first, and possibly last time (it's a club in DC for u un-hip folk out of the know lol)
as well as a plethora of events that I either don't recall @ right now, don't think bear mentioning, or don't think u need to know about, lol
I never did come back to rant (oh how I miss ranting, not that I don't rant, but ranting to one's self in one's head isn't as fulfilling as putting it down in words. I'm not crazy, really I'm not)
I met this cool chica, gout three weeks ago now I suppose it was. What will come of that I have no idea. But I enjoy her company, and that's more than enough for now.
I have so much I want to say, but I don't know if I should...plus its getting late, work in the morning and all...
I'm not going to say I'm gonna come back (it seems to be a jinx lol). But I will say that I will make an effort to integrate LJ into my daily routine.
au revoir |
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| Hmmmm, I wonder ..... |
[Sep. 22nd, 2006|05:35 am] |
Why the fuck am I up at 5:36 in the morning!? Oh yeah... Cause I'm locked out of my room. Lovely. I was going to rant, about some other folks rants on facebook, but umm I just dont got it in me. Fuckin allergies are kickn my ass. Hopefully I"ll remember and comeback and spew my throughts forth for all to indulge in. Mmm, that sounded just a mite naughty. I need sleep, I actually cracked a smile at that.
Life has been as usual, pretty mundane. I'd say the three central themes to m current existence are counter-strike, porn, and Brad and Gary's apartment, in no particular order of importance.
Ok, I'm going now, but know that a rant update is a bubbling and a brewin. |
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| Aiyo Aiyo |
[Sep. 13th, 2006|08:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Eminem - As The World Turns | ] |
The weirdest ish happened to me monday night/tues morning. It was somewhere around 2:30 am, I"m walkin across the street to my dorm and this g uy flags me down. I walk over to his car thinkin he needs directions or somethin and he offers me a job. Yep $300/wk to answer the phone and weep up at som barbershop. So I'm liike hell yea, I'm down. So he calls his boss to sorta set things up and his boss tells him he gotta give me a free hair cut as his barber test. So I hop in ole boys car (reckless I knew/know but I wasnt concerned) and we're off. To make a long story short I didnt get the cut so ole dude dropped me back off by campus, after telling me that the name of the place is "The Barershop" and thats its across the street from the underground and i can start at 9:00 am. Its a lil after 3 by now so i go to the room sleep, get up at 8 and start the process of making my way down to the underground. The whole time i had this feeling like I'm not going to find the place and man was i right. I wasted an hour of my life walking around the underground trying to find this place, gave up and went back to campus.
So yea... that so would;'e rocked if it would've panned out. It wouldve gave me something to do with my free time and put some dough in my pocket.
Other than that life has been rather uneventful, as it tends to be when I'm down here in atl. Been spending most of my time downloading ish and playing counter-strike.
My philosophical ethics class is pretty cool, and its been pretty easy so far, got a 100 on the first quiz, tommorow I'll find out how I did on the second. The readings are prety interesting, and I'll prolly end up reading some of the other stuff in the book that isnt part of the class.
Well I suppose that's it for now, if I think of someother stuff I'll drop it in another update tommorow or somethin.
P.S. For reasons I shan't get into I am now officially abstinent. |
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| The Beauty of Digital Music... |
[Sep. 3rd, 2006|05:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | tHe LaB | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  creative | ] |
They started callin me DJCK way back, well i guess it isnt quite way back, but I digress they tarted callin me DJCK for lack of anything else to call me, I've never really had a nickname. They were freestyling, I was recording with Cool Edi Pro 2, which was the tool, or one of the tools of choice at the time, and before they' flow they shout me out or whatever, thnak me for puttin on the beat for the, they'de put me in there flows, sayin i as on the mixin boards and what not. I didnt mind, although I felt a lil guilty, I mean I have never really laid hands on a pair of turntables, let alone know how to scratch an mix and the other myriad of skills associated with DJaying. But as time passed and my mastery of Cool Edit grew a lil more, I felt a lil more comfortble with it. I did mix the tracks up, and I eventually started screwing, and recently chopping, all in Cool Edit.
And then, a couple of days ago I stumbled upon a piece of software that's going to change how me and my compatriots do music. VirtualDJ. With Cool Edit all I could do was chop, i couldnt do any scratching, or bring the track back; Virtual DJ changes all that.It's prolly as close to having purely digital turntables as you can get, atleat I havent seen anything out there that's better. Already, after a two days of practice I feel confident that the only limitations will be that of my creativities and skills.
Suffice to say, I feel much more comfortable with the DJCK moniker, now that Im working my digital wheels of steel.
.... Now I just need to start learning how to produce ... |
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| Sittin in da 404 |
[Aug. 30th, 2006|08:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Douglass.. | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | None | ] |
And I'll be back in the 301 tommorow afternoon. I"m scheduled to be on the 9:25 flight but I don't tihnk I"ll be making it, gotta take care of some business. I'm gonna be spending yet another semester here in ATL, taking this art class. And despite the fact that I learned today that I may have possibly been able to work it out where I didnt have to, this path is wrought(sp) with much more certainty than any other that was put before me, so I'm on it.
Three more months in a dorm room, but I wont be that bad I don't think; my room mate seems cool enough.
I finally gave in and joined myspace, my curiosity got the best of me. It has proven to be interesting enough, very reminiscent of blackplane in its hey day.
Won't go into the mundane details of the past couple of days right now, myspace calls me.
Oh yea..I havent forgotten, I got soome more stuff to catch you up on. And once I'm back in full swing, more rants and raves from the recesses of my odd mind.
Till then.... |
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| Damn near a year... |
[Aug. 23rd, 2006|08:04 pm] |
Has it been that long? Sometimes it feels an eternity, others but the briefest of instants. As one would imagine much has taken place and I will not begin to attempt to summarize, however there are perhaps a few tihngs that bear mentioning:
I've turned 22, obvious as it may be it is still noteworthy. My laptop, altough not thrown away or destoryed physically, has been relegated to that big computer store in the sky. May 14th, 2006 passed without me graduating, of that we will talk at length, but later. The pool in the back yard was opened for the first tim in a year, maybe two, just a week ago and is looking beaufitul. Last, but certainely not least, I think I may find myself loving two women, but not in love with either. That too must wait, but that I think will wait for another entry...
May 14th. May fucking 14th. You know what I was doing May 14th, on that morning where I was to be sitting with my brethern, my fellow members of the class of 2006 at Morehouse College? I was at my cousins graduation from UNC, Chapel Hill. Its funny, because my parents told me about going o the graduation at least two or three weeks before but it did not dawn on me until the morning of that I was supposed to be graduationg instead of watching my cousin graduate. It was somewhat of a bitter revelation that I wont try to deny, but It did not keep me form being happy for her.
Why. I know its the question you're asking yourself, or atleast should be; I know I would, hell at times I still do. But perhaps you're one of those people who just accepts news such as that as just being a fact of what is. People dont gradaute on time and how that comes to be is really of no concern. For those other folk, those folk more akin to me, I will satisfy your desire for knowledge.
Like all things in life, especially of this nature, there is no true one answer to that eternal question of the ages. But if I were given the license write in the annals of history this part of my story the blame would fall squarely on that ugly fat white bitch Dr. Cook in the Biology department at Clark Atlanta University. Excuse me if I sound a mite bitter, but her decision to not let me in her biology class has turned my life upside down for the last seven or eight months and I still find myself under the shadow of it.
Don't get me wrong, on a more objective note I understand that I made decisions my self which contributed greatly to the situatioon which i found and which I find myself in as even now I write this entry. Yet she had the power witihn her hands to simplify my life a great deal; she chose not to.
Forgive me I have not properly set things up. My last semester at Morehouse College, in the spring of 2006, I needed to take Biology, and Survey of Visual Arts, 7 hours, both part of the Core curriculum of the college, both 100 level classes, both courses which should not have taxed me overly, and if they did, both classes I could passed with no doubt. Fall 2005 was a trying semester. Altough the classes I were taking were not overly difficult, a 21 hour course load will take its due, espcially at finals time when things get a lil frantic. So when registration for spring opned up, it went unnoticed by me. If asked to lay the blame on myself, at what juncture would I lay it, it would be here. Such an innocent action, or inaction as the case may be, yet one which has proved to have had grande ramifications.
When I returned in the spring and got the hold taken off my accoun, I attempted to register for those two classes which i needed to receive my diploma 17 or so some off weeks hence, I found them filled up. I did not move fast enough, and I recognize now it was my ignorent faith that nobody would truly hold up my gradation by not letting me in my class that kept me rom moving with haste. To tihnk on tthese times now, it is still painful, and I can't bring myself ot go through the details. Suffice to say that when I went through what motions was required Dr. Cook did not et me in her biology class. So heart broken, I stopped atempting to get into an art course, another decision made without much thought which has proved to have been a dire one, altough I had no way of knowing at the time.
I wasn't jealous of those folk who graduated, who I as ot graduated with, and of that I am proud. I was happy for them, we had walked the long road of the Comp Sci department together, helping each other along the way and if I helped them perhaps a little more than them I, it was only because I found my self in a position to do so; they would've done the same for me.
I did not move slowly, for the most part, to set up taking my courses here at UMCP, the Univiersty of Maryland College Park for those not local. I think it was my firm belief that I would take these courses durin the summer and be finished with little sweat off my back that kept my sprits buoyed during the rest of spring semester. And even when I learned that I couldnt take both classes during the first session at CP and would thus miss out on having a graduation ceremony during the summer, it did not upset me overly. Since it ould not have been with my brothers I really diidnt care and still don't. The ceremoney now is much for the benefit of my parents, altough I will not be able but to fill up with pride still. Graduating as a young black male from gollece is no superfical feat, graduating from Morehouse College even less so.
Life was relatively good for a while. My perforamce in Biology at CP was good, but then I slacked off and I really coundlt afford to. The C i received in the course was fair, altugh in sll honsety I beleived my self ot know more than that. But thats truly not important. Its when I learned that my art class was cancelled that life once again turned itself on its head, atleast for me.
I moved slowly again, and I have thought long and hard as to why and can come up with no better answer than I was afraid, filled with a fear that always comes to me in stiuations where I feel I have absolutely on control, laying my fate in the hands of another's whims. I did not want ot return to Atlanta for the fall semester to take a 3 hour course, the expense of housing being ridulous for such a small purpose. Yet maryland didnt offer the course i was approved for in the coming semester. So i tried to find a course at some insituions here in the DC-Metro area, and I contacted the people I needed to to try and get myself approved. Which is where aI am now.
Dean Grimes. the Dean over the Division of Humanites and Social Sciences, I think thats the name of the division, was leaving on sabbatical the day I called him. I sent him some course descriptions, we decided on a course for me to take, and I faxed him the completed form, lacking only his signature and that of my department chair. I never received a return fax. So now, because i dont know what happened with the form, my mother is putting me on a place to go to Atlanta tomorrow. Hopefully, the guy who is acting dean will not put me through too much and I will be able to get this all taken care of in one day.
With that, I leave you, drained in the telling o this little tale..
Until A later date I bid you A Dieu |
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| Damn... |
[Jul. 28th, 2005|11:09 pm] |
I been walkin around meanin to update forever, but tonight I finally got the lil push I needed to get it done.
Let start with the cd. I finally mailed it off last week and they were really feelin it. My man Cease says he isnt freestylin anymore just writtens, I think my writtens influenced that a lil. When I get back another cd is gonna get put together b4 I leave 4 atl.
Moving on to things with the ex. I don't even know where that is right now as she hasn't called me in the past three nights. I wanna call her but then part of me thinks this is the way it's supposed to be, if we're gonna do this friend thing....if i'm supposed to be moving on and what not...altough to be honest I don't really know what i'm moving on to...
and on to the kickerm what finally gave me the push to finally be here...
I'll just set this up with the facts that this chica i know form online, from fl, introduced me, online, to her roommate maybe a month or so ago....
Her: you still talk to her?
Frank Whyte16: When I see her on, and when I'm chatting period
Her: she siad you are boring
Frank Whyte16: Then so be it
Her: u need to spice up ur convo
Frank Whyte16: Oh?
Her: yeas
Her: she siad ur cool
Her: but
Her: too..... u kno
Her: monotonious
Frank Whyte16: Damn aim and there lack of an eyebrow emote... its really not that serious to me
Her: yea but dawg
Her: u gotta talk
Her: how u gonna keep her interested?
Frank Whyte16: I was unaware I was under the burden of keeping her interested
Her: is it a burden?
Her: u dont HAVE to... but i mean, you are talking
Her: so
Her: wuddnt that be like, a normal thing to do
Frank Whyte16: Apparently not if i'm normally "monotonous" lolz
Her: how did u keep the other gurlfriends? were they like, Always quiet too? or did u do stuff with them, talk to them?
Frank Whyte16: I didnt have to "keep" my girlfriends lolz And c'mon this is hardly anywhere on that level lolz
Her: so dang
Her: it cud be
Her: or
Her: just a friendship
Frank Whyte16: my friends don't require me to keep them interested either
Her: how are they ur friends if u have no intrest
Frank Whyte16: we have mutual interest, we chill we hang out. but I do not keep them interested
Her: i c
Her: ok forget it
Frank Whyte16: Uh huh
Yea....lets not even ask y she didn't think to ask me if i was even tryin to get wit this chick....who lives over half a day from my home in md....
And people wonder why I don't bother dealin with females...
So yea right about now I'm feelin very "Money over bitches, nigga stick to the script"...
Speaking of which, with the money i've made over this summer and what i had saved up, and with my plans to work the next two semesters in the comp sci lab, I'm really feel like its time for me ot get on my grind and start makin some dough.
I got a couple of ideas for some hustles that could prove to be lucrative but i gotta do some legwork and find out some more info.
It really is crazy how money hungry I am....
lolz oh yea I gotta tell you bout springer the other day. Ok so this dude cheated on his shemale girlfriend, with a shemale prostitute. And his girl was mad and tryin to fight him and the audience starts chanting, "fight like men", it was classic, THen the prostitute came out and they ended up chantin "whore". Now i couldn't blame them for that, she was an admitted whore lolz. But they was wrong for swtichin it to "ugly whore" lolz.
Man I was happy as hell this morning just feeling good that I'll be going home next saturday. I've enjoyed my time here but it's time to go home.
Well I guess that's it for now.. I'll try to get back to being more regular about this updating thing..
0n3 |
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| One Sock On, One Sock Off |
[Jul. 20th, 2005|02:53 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  okay | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | I'm A King - T.I. f/ Game | ] |
I've spent a good time in that state. I'm in it now. It just kinda happens...
Another night spent on the phone with her. It's kinda funny the way she sees us being friends as what makes sense and I see us as being together as what makes sense... wait did I say funny...ehh....I guess that's the only way to put it. It's a lil sad too, a lil frustrating, but mostly funny, although not haha funny, of course.
I'm really starting to warm up to Linux. With the 1001 tools already in the OS you can do so many useful things with a lil clever shell scripting. Now I prolly won't have an *nix as my primary OS on my next box, but definetly considering a dual boot setup, you never know when all that stuff might just happen to be useful.
Sometimes I wish I could hook this thing upto my mind so I could just ramble in my mind and share my thoughts. I been meaning to come back and update forever, but somehow I kept putting it om the back burner.
...And I still haven't called Ma Banks....
However somewhere in these united states there are two checks with my name on them. Perhaps they're at the post office in Fort Washington, having finised their journey from San Diego; I'll find out tommorrow.
I'm finally gonna send my mans and them back home our mix cd tommorow, or rather today. I've been putting it off too longm its not fair of me to make them wait.
Listenin to that Frank White - Frank Sinatra Blend now , its nice an mellow, but still bangin..
I've been planniin on makin a update of rap quotes I live by in someway or the otha...but I'll leave ya with this one from my man Frank M to the izz H Phenomenal..
"Killin' ya gently/God meant me/to push a Bentley"
I live by that, I've felt that way since b4 I eva heard that line but the first time i heard it I was like yes, that's it. I know everybdy, or atleast most people would like to be rich and what not, but I really feel like I was put here for that, like if I don't become ludicrously wealthy I didnt fulfill some part of my purpose. I honestly can't imagine myself any way but havin mad loot. I spend alot of time thinkin up ways to make money. Despite growing up pretty well off in the upper middle class, I still feel hungry.
It's 3:34, I suppose I should b asleep now. So....I'm out...
0n3 |
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| Another Day, Another Dollar |
[Jul. 12th, 2005|08:47 pm] |
I can't wait to get this freakin check when this whole thing is said and done. Maaaaan 6 g's in one place. I think i'm gonna stare at it for a considerable amount of time before hysterically jumping up and down and running in circles untill I either collapse from exhaustion or I find something else ridiculously absurd to do.
I still haven't called Ma Banks bout my lab assistant check from last semester, I know I knowim a horrible procrastinator. You'da thought my my capitalistic urges woulda kicked in, after all it is still a thousand dollars, but I guess my eyes been to glues on the 6g prize to be distracted. I'm gonna do it tommorrow, really I am. I'll even make an update to tell you how it goes. Plus I need to find out how I become a tutor, and perhaps a lab assistant again for next semester. I am so on my grizzly, I got dough to make.
Got damnit the fawkin cable just went out... If I freakin miss Real World there is gonna be consequences and reprecussions...
I installed CS2 today, played with it some. I got a Sams teach yourself CS2 in 24 hours ebook so Im hoping it will show me some of the tight ish you can do, and just in general shed some light on the mysterious software that is photoshop, I've alwyas prefered psp, not that I'm an epxert in that either lolz; it's jsut more intuitive. I Donloaded eyecandy and like a pack of 40 web site templates too lolz. I'm not playin with this photoshop thing. I should take this time that the cable is out to play with flash some more. And then I got some programming ideas i could work on. I need to focus more of my energy on creating stuff. It really is a bitch bein interested in freakin everything, especially when your not terribly good at alot of it lolz but I make do. And I alwasys have my progamming. I'm not the best in the world but damnit I feel I put it down when it comes to puttin together code.
Since we're on the whole creative tip I suppose I'll drop the poem I was talkin about in here, for any folk who wander in and havent seen it yet.
Pieces
Such euphoric completeness of being
A sweet blessing from Her
But She giveth and She taketh away
through Her words
That first fracture
the pristine picture painted by myself
in the vibrant hues of self delusion
I essay to recreate what once was
But I have naught but the dull and dismal
shades of longing and despair
Leaving the canvas
Broken and shattered
In pieces
07/07/2005 12:57 AM
Now don't go thinkin I'm all depressed cause I'm not actually, I think that whole period is over. In fact when I was finishing this, i was on the phone with her and I was feeling giddy, like a school girl. Ok maybe not quite a school girl but it felt damn good to be on the phone with her. We've been talkin a lot lately, we've been on the phone until early in the morning the past few nights straight, like we used to do.
I need to photograph downtown knoxville. It kinda has like this 1930's 1940's look to it, even with all the modern stuff there and I think i could get some good black and whites out of this one street. Gay Street. Yea I snickered too, lolz its ok you're not a bad person for it. If their were a Hetero Street i'd snicker at that too lolz. Ok I was just wrong for that...moving right along...
Did I tell ya'll bout the cell phone and the weird guy while I was washing clothes? I think i did, anyway I still have it and i still havent decided what the freak im gonna do with it. I think I'm gonna go talk to the good people of u.s. cellular and see what they have to say.
Aaaaah got damnit the cable is STILL out...maaan
I'mma go throw something in the oven and ya now eat it and such...
If I think of anything I missed I'll be back later.
0n3 |
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| And I'm back |
[Jul. 8th, 2005|03:48 pm] |
Job's goin good, I'm relating it to the field im trying to go into, A.I. and that's just rejuvenated my interest in the whole thing. Almost got all my tracks done for the CD so I can put that in the mail, and now that I know where the post office is that just makes it that much better.
Things feel ridiculously good between me and the ex, like really really good.
Finished a poem yesterday, paid the rent today.
And Perhaps I'll rant later.
0n3 |
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| Another Day in the Life |
[Jul. 8th, 2005|01:24 pm] |
I really wasn't gonna come into work today, I was being much more productive programming at home. But today was free lunch day. So that's right boy and girls i brought my ass in lolz
I'm kinda stuck right now, if I went home i could work, but then my office mates won't have a key to the office. If I stay I have to sit here and b bored.All this wouldb't be a problem if i could use ut's wireless network, ah well.
I don't even feel like writing so i'll bbl... |
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| Gooood Got Dayum.... |
[Jun. 28th, 2005|10:10 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Still Cruisin? -Eazy-E w/Game | ] |
I cant even finish the rant....after last night....craziness...
Damn... I'm bout to ventilate sooo...yea....just take ten paces...cause I don't know whats bout to happen...
Ok... ok so I'm on the phone with her. Not to be confused with the her fromthe i'm but Her, the Ex, the keeper of my heart. She's always tellin me, and she's not the only one, about how I don't express myself. So I thought that I'd make an effort to do so.
...You'd think I'da know better but I'm a fucking moron..so I didnt. Or maybe I did but i went against my better judgement...
So after rallying myself together I slowly try and ease into how I've been feeling lately using her constant complainings of the plight of being a female as the segue. How you ask, by explaining how its not so easy being a guy, namely myself. But instead of getting to say wht I had to say, I just get anotherearfulof how females our so much worse off than males, and how we must wake up every morning thanking the creator for our maleness.
I made it through all that, since I've heard it all before from her probably at least twice if not more times and it looked like we would talk about me for a lil while.
So we start talking about me eventually...and I'm trying to express to her how I don't meet people, and she isn't really feelin what i'm sayin. And then out of nowhere she brings up Allison...
Ya'll remember allison right? well it doesnt really matter... all you need to know about allison to put this all into context is at one point she didint like the ex, despite not knowin her, cause she, allison, was trying to get with me. Now before me and the ex became anything, me and allison used to sex or whatever. But I cut that off when I decided and realized that it jsut wasnt right for a number of reasons, the primary one at the time being I was really feelin the ex. So anyway after the ex called it off with me, which was like sunday, I sexed allison like the next friday.
..Yea I know...
Not one of my shining moments but it happened. It was a mistake and I knew it was a mistake right when it happened but you gotta understand where my mind was at. A part of me just wanted to disconnect from the ex so bad, to make the single life i had not really wantingly taken up seem halfway decent. And what's supposed to be the best part of bein single for a guy, sexin whoever you want. So I fucked up and made a stupid decision...I'm human it happens.
But somethin won't let me defend my self to this woman who has thrown a past mistake in my face and is makin me feel worse and worse about it. Its like I know I can't justify what happened and i know shes jsut not gonna be tryin to hear what im sayin, so I sit there and let her dig into me. And its not like shes yelliin and screamin or anything, jsut calmly expressing how she feels but it hurts just the same...
And you wanna know the crazy part...the thin that hurts the most is knowing I hurt her, cause I can hear it nher voice, itslike I can feel it commin off her...
so we endup off the phone and all i can think is, and she wonders why I never exrpess myself. That and how did talkin bout how i feel turn into hertelling me how she felt.
i didnt want to come to work this morning but I did. from like 9 - 10 I felt sick to my stomach cause of this whole thing last night.... I still kinda feel it but its not anywhere near where it was...
I really wish she could slip her feet in my size ten's and feel'em out cause bein a guy,or atleast bein me, ain't all its cracked up to be.
But whatever I just dont want to get into that right now....
The other day...we were on the phone...and she was like why does life keep denying her a real relationship..her,the one that broke up with me....that hurt...she didnt mean it to, and I dont even think she realized how it sounded...but yea...
i'm gonna go wonder around the internet aimlessly now...have a nice day... |
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| The close of another week... |
[Jun. 24th, 2005|11:27 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | So Cold - Smalleyez | ] |
Ah yes yes ya'll, I'm back ya'll, ah yes yes ya'll I'm back...
And I got a lot of stuff to wrap up and today is feelin like the day to do it.
But before I get all deep and what not...lolz..gas update... I have gone almost a month, four weeks, on one tank of gas. Lovely..
W'ere gonna do this in reverse order, latest first.
so back to the frat thing...here are the snippets i wanted to copy and paste b4, u decide who made the most compelling argument...
Her (6:25:52 PM): are u in a fraternity?
Frank Whyte16 (6:25:59 PM): nah
Her (6:26:03 PM): why?
Frank Whyte16 (6:26:46 PM): Don't see the point of it all
Her (6:26:52 PM): lol
Her (6:27:02 PM): resume builder for one..
Her (6:27:04 PM): makes u look good
Her (6:27:11 PM): lifetime connections
Her (6:27:31 PM): theres always sumone from a fraternity somewhere, and they share real greek love
Frank Whyte16 (6:29:00 PM): "real greek love"? lolz im not paying money, going thorugh hazing to build my resume, look good how? i can build life time conections without some odd olored jacket. Theres someobdy form every where everywhere thats the way life is.
Her (6:29:15 PM): yea but
Her (6:29:49 PM): random ppl wont be like "oh, lemmie give him a job" "or oh, lemmie hook him up with whatevea wateva" just out te blue, cuz your nice
Her (6:29:58 PM): but i mean, diff ppl gots diff views
Her (6:30:08 PM): so if its not your thing, its not your thing
Frank Whyte16 (6:30:12 PM): if u get a ob just cause you in a frat, u dont deserve the job
Frank Whyte16 (6:30:42 PM): and if u did deserve the job then u'll get the job lolz so it really doesnt make a difference
Her (6:30:52 PM): well like my ex's mom
Her (6:31:10 PM): she didnt work for years cuz she was stay at home mom
Her (6:32:04 PM): and her husband got sick and she needed a job kwik
Her (6:32:30 PM): and she called her sister and she gave her a position at her office payin like $20/hr
Frank Whyte16 (6:33:32 PM): But did she deserve the job?
Her (6:34:41 PM): she NEEDED the job, and all she had to do was file papers. anyone deserves that job if they kno the alphabet, she had a college degree under her belt and trainin since she did work like that b4 she had the babies and all that so yea
Her (6:35:20 PM): it asnt like, she hired her to build a bridge and she onyl had a teaching degree
Her (6:35:24 PM): wasnt*
Frank Whyte16 (6:37:50 PM): 20/hr filing papers ....sounds suspect to me
Frank Whyte16 (6:38:02 PM): I'm just not a fan of nepotism
Her (6:38:33 PM): nepotism?
Her (6:38:39 PM): anyway it is how it is
Her (6:38:41 PM): and i like it
Frank Whyte16 (6:39:00 PM): uh huh
Her (6:39:09 PM): its mroe to it, but i guess u kno, u dont see it
Her (6:39:11 PM): i cant explain
Her (6:39:14 PM): but im in
Frank Whyte16 (6:40:24 PM): http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=nepotism
Her (6:40:33 PM): lol thanx
Her (6:41:14 PM): lol its not ALL about that
Frank Whyte16 (6:41:22 PM): i didint say it was
Frank Whyte16 (6:41:44 PM): but everbody always mentions that as one of the main benefits and to me that would be null and void cause i dont believe in it
Her (6:41:58 PM): well so if u fell broke
Her (6:42:05 PM): and u cuddnt find a job
Her (6:42:15 PM): ud rather just sit there wit no money?
Frank Whyte16 (6:42:34 PM): I would never put myself in that position
Her (6:42:43 PM): its not up to u
Her (6:42:44 PM): say...
Her (6:43:21 PM): no one wanted to go to ur car shop, no one was investing in your real estate and no one needed to hire you to teach computer science cuz they figured they had enuff minority teachers.
Her (6:43:38 PM): mcdonalds said ur too overqualified
Frank Whyte16 (6:44:43 PM): Then i would live off my savings until i found a job
Her (6:44:54 PM): u have lots of money saved up right now?
Frank Whyte16 (6:44:56 PM): And yes there are alwyas jobs to be found
Frank Whyte16 (6:45:05 PM): Enough
Her (6:45:06 PM): wat if ur like me
Her (6:45:21 PM): since march, i been applying for jobs
Her (6:45:27 PM): i got NONE
Her (6:45:31 PM): zip
Her (6:45:51 PM): i have no job, i wasnt being picky or anything. every singe place where i saw a now hiring sign, i applied
Her (6:46:03 PM): mc odnalds, wendys, housekeeping
Her (6:46:08 PM): everything
Her (6:46:11 PM): i mean, im being REAL.
Frank Whyte16 (6:46:18 PM): i don't doubt you are
Frank Whyte16 (6:46:27 PM): if that happened i would create my own job
Frank Whyte16 (6:46:32 PM): I'd cut lawns
Frank Whyte16 (6:46:41 PM): sell cd's
Her (6:46:48 PM): and how wud u afford a lawn moer? cuz i cant
Her (6:46:57 PM): and i was sellin CD's but i got in trouble
Frank Whyte16 (6:47:02 PM): Get a loan
Her (6:47:12 PM): lol u gotta have money and a job to get a load
Her (6:47:14 PM): loan*
Her (6:47:25 PM): atleast thas wat they tole me
Frank Whyte16 (6:48:10 PM): Then you went to thw wrong people ro tried to apply for the wrong type of loan lolz but you can always get a loan form somebody other than a financial institution
Frank Whyte16 (6:48:28 PM): you could get money form your parents and pay them back, or friends, ro find somebody else to go into business with
Her (6:48:41 PM): i am gettin money from my parents right now
Her (6:48:45 PM): thas why im not homeless
Her (6:49:05 PM): but if i didnt have parents...................... i dunno wat ewud happen to me, cuz i had over 70 job applications
Her (6:49:11 PM): and i got no job
Frank Whyte16 (6:49:40 PM): Have you applied for any govt jobs?
Her (6:49:46 PM): yea
Her (6:49:46 PM): i did
Frank Whyte16 (6:50:09 PM): What happened with that?
Her (6:51:02 PM): they neva called me back either. AND the other, i paid like 40 for the application fee and they said i needed to take a test, and then the place where i needed to take it, changed to sumwhere far, and they were like "im sorry".
Her (6:51:06 PM): the post office
Her (6:51:10 PM): 2 post offices
Her (6:51:26 PM): and i went to the welfare office, and they werent hiring
Frank Whyte16 (6:51:28 PM): so you didint take the test?
Her (6:51:32 PM): i cuddnt get ehre
Her (6:51:43 PM): it was like, 6 hours away
Her (6:51:46 PM): there*
Frank Whyte16 (6:52:18 PM): mmhmm
Her (6:52:25 PM): it was
Frank Whyte16 (6:52:31 PM): i dont doubt it
Her (6:52:40 PM): im in orlando and it was in georgia. i was like OMG
This was where i wanted to say if u really wanted the job youu'dve gone but i let it go... Later that same evening....
Her (7:48:37 PM): wat u doing
Frank Whyte16 (7:48:51 PM): debatin
Her (7:48:58 PM): debating wat?
Frank Whyte16 (7:49:33 PM): lolz whether cam'ron is gay or not for wearing pink
Her (7:49:40 PM): lol
Her (7:49:44 PM): everyone wears pink now
Her(7:49:51 PM): i think there all gay
Frank Whyte16 (7:51:05 PM): y?
Her (7:51:23 PM): men wearing pink...
Her (7:51:26 PM): its just wrong
Her (7:51:29 PM): i dunno it aint right
Her (7:51:34 PM): looks terrible, they look weak
Frank Whyte16 (7:52:54 PM): lolz they sohuld wear strong colors?
Her (7:53:06 PM): yes
Her (7:53:07 PM): like
Her (7:53:13 PM): if they wanna wear suttin girly
Her (7:53:23 PM): wear red dang. thas as close as u need to get
Her (7:53:43 PM): and if it used to be red, and now its pink, give it to ur little sister
Frank Whyte16 (7:54:11 PM): Red is gurly?
Frank Whyte16 (7:54:22 PM): Betta not tell any bloods that...lolz
Her (7:54:30 PM): lol
Her (7:54:45 PM): its as close to "girlie" as they need to get.
Her (7:54:48 PM): or yellow
Frank Whyte16 (7:55:19 PM): so what are the colors that are good stong manly colors?
Her (7:55:24 PM): lol
Her (7:55:26 PM): omg
Her (7:56:29 PM): i love to see men in black, blue, and white. i mean, any color, but u kno, dudes dont need to wear pink str8 up. thas just unacceptable to me. pink is the distinguish color for babies. if its a gurl give it pink
Her (7:56:46 PM): pussy is pink
Her (7:56:58 PM): barbie clothes are pink (well they used to be)
Frank Whyte16 (7:57:32 PM): dick is pink , ti can be anyway lolz . so because somebody arbituaryl picked pink for girls who knows when its off limits to males?
Her (7:57:45 PM): ew i aint neva seen no pink dick
Frank Whyte16 (7:57:55 PM): Well then damnit i decalre form hence forth that women can't ever wear blue
Frank Whyte16 (7:58:02 PM): lolz
Her (7:58:07 PM): women are interchangeable
Frank Whyte16 (7:58:22 PM): bah humbug im tired of that old double standard
Her (7:58:35 PM): women wear tee's and jeans, and women wear skirts and haltertops
Her (7:58:42 PM): will a guy wear a skirt and a halterhop
Her (7:58:45 PM): haltertop*
Frank Whyte16 (7:59:20 PM): if he wanted to. the thign is he's been programmed not to want to
Frank Whyte16 (7:59:29 PM): Society tells him tis wrong
Her (8:00:54 PM): my opnion. my friend loves guys that wear pink
Her (8:00:58 PM): she says real men wear pink
Frank Whyte16 (8:01:23 PM): Most likely cause they dare to be different
Frank Whyte16 (8:01:34 PM): and/or she likes the color on them
Her (8:01:43 PM): she said it shows that they have a soft side and their not afraid to show it.
Frank Whyte16 (8:02:12 PM): I c
Frank Whyte16 (8:02:40 PM): so what other colors ar soft?
Her (8:03:21 PM): pink. any shade of pink. thats it.
Frank Whyte16 (8:03:44 PM): That doesnt seem odd to you?
Her (8:03:45 PM): purple supposedly makes u look gay, but thats justlike, lilac
Her (8:04:04 PM): lilac shud not really be worn by guys either in my opnion
Her (8:04:05 PM): like
Her (8:04:15 PM): that camron CD wit all that pink and purple ont he cover!
Her (8:04:18 PM): o nooo
Her (8:04:19 PM): no
Frank Whyte16 (8:07:05 PM): Even though the tile was purple haze?
Frank Whyte16 (8:07:08 PM): title*
Her (8:09:15 PM): yea
Her (8:09:17 PM): ok
Her (8:09:29 PM): he cudda wrote the words in purple
Her (8:09:35 PM): or put purple smoke on there
Her (8:09:59 PM): but on top of the fact that ppl think hes gay already for wearin pink all day, he made it worse my puttin purple ALL OVER it
Frank Whyte16 (8:10:22 PM): Do you think he really cares what those people think?
Her (8:10:35 PM): obviously not
Her (8:10:47 PM): and i wuddnt either, if i was doin my thing
Her (8:10:55 PM): he can wear pink all day
Her (8:11:05 PM): he still got more money than any of us
Her (8:11:09 PM): and he gonna continue gettin it too
Frank Whyte16 (8:12:02 PM): mmhmm
Her (8:14:15 PM): what do u think
Her (8:14:21 PM): pink is ok?
Her (8:14:32 PM): men shud wear it everyday?
Frank Whyte16 (8:14:57 PM): people should wear what they want to wear without society telling them that they shouldnt
Her (8:15:10 PM): so u dont care
Frank Whyte16 (8:15:33 PM): or if we are going to come up with some kind of rules for society to come up with then we should make them make sense and abide by them
Frank Whyte16 (8:15:44 PM): not this half and half crap people want to try and do now
Her (8:15:48 PM): its not rules
Her (8:15:52 PM): its personal opnions
Her (8:16:07 PM): theres 346248713134645745715 people with 346248713134645745715 opinions
Her (8:16:22 PM): and some ppl dont feel the need to keep their opnion to themselves
Frank Whyte16 (8:16:27 PM): No its not perosnal opinions they are unspoken rules of society, that are perpetuated because no one questions them
Frank Whyte16 (8:17:00 PM): peoples opinions get influenced before they have the option of making it up for themselves
Frank Whyte16 (8:17:30 PM): and alot of people arent going to rexamine their opinions once they've made them, or had them made for them, whatever the case may be
Her (8:18:35 PM): yea, that happens, but still they have a mind of their own. u have opinions too dont u?
Frank Whyte16 (8:20:37 PM): my opinions are my own though. I can defend them. There is rhyme and reason to it. That's because they are mine. Most people have opinions they can't defend and when u question them then they look at you crazy like "why dont u just accept this is the way it is" Just because someone has a mind of their own doesnt mean they use it
Her (8:22:49 PM): well, sorry fa them
Frank Whyte16 (8:23:14 PM): lolz you act like its the minority rather than the majority
Her (8:23:44 PM): nah im juss sayin
Her (8:23:48 PM): i cant speak for them
Frank Whyte16 (8:24:42 PM): well then we're back to what i was saying before, society places these rules, which often have no rhyme or reason, on its members
Her (8:24:55 PM): and we cant change it
Frank Whyte16 (8:25:07 PM): Yes you can
Frank Whyte16 (8:25:15 PM): You just have to educate people
Her (8:25:20 PM): lol
Her (8:25:53 PM): i dont got time fa that. i dont care wat ppl have to say.
Her (8:25:57 PM): i read the other day
Her (8:26:00 PM): on this gurls webpage
Her (8:26:58 PM): she said "save the animals! as for the christians and the poor people and the (suttin else i cant remember) we need to get get rid of them, those creatures are pests and need to be exterminated" or sum shit like that
Her (8:27:39 PM): where the heck she get that from?
Her (8:27:44 PM): i dont care
Frank Whyte16 (8:27:57 PM): that is a personal opinion thats not the type of thing im talking about here
Her (8:28:02 PM): yea but
Her (8:28:09 PM): do u thinks he derived that on her own?
Frank Whyte16 (8:29:15 PM): its quite possible. if they were seirous about it, which i doubt they were, they probably did. For whatever reasons throuh their experiences they have a dislike for poor people and chrsitians. Now maybe they were spoon fed that from somebody else but I doubt it
Her (8:29:31 PM): i dont
Frank Whyte16 (8:29:32 PM): id have to see it in its origianl context to get more of a feel for it
Her (8:29:45 PM): she had a pic of the cross burning
Frank Whyte16 (8:30:12 PM): That doesnt mean that she just is blindly following what somebody told her
Her (8:30:23 PM): wat if her dad is KKK
Her (8:30:37 PM): my friends dad is, yet, she aint racist. she has her own mind
Her (8:30:52 PM): wat if shes just athiest
Her (8:30:54 PM): or suttin
Frank Whyte16 (8:30:58 PM): it's possible but not likely as the kkk claims to be a chistian organization if memory serves
Frank Whyte16 (8:31:32 PM): If shes atheirst then that jsut proves my point. most people become atheist through personal delibleration not because somebody jsut told them they should be atheist
Her (8:31:58 PM): what are u
Frank Whyte16 (8:32:10 PM): united methodist
Her (8:32:17 PM): why?
Her (8:32:48 PM): i actually dont know what that is. like, what do u beleive?
Frank Whyte16 (8:33:05 PM): Because I was raised united methodist and in my explorations of other faiths and beliefs so far it pretty much follows how i fell
Frank Whyte16 (8:33:15 PM): Its a denomination of christianity
Frank Whyte16 (8:33:50 PM): And to be perfectly honest , my spirituality doesnt fit into the box of a denominaiton or religion since for the most part i odnt take part in organized religious activities
Her (8:34:06 PM): U dont go to church
Frank Whyte16 (8:34:22 PM): not on any where near a regular basis
Her (8:34:29 PM): ?
Frank Whyte16 (8:35:07 PM): I just dont no particular reason. I'm jsut not compelled to be in somebodies church every sunday because that's what ive been told i should do
Her (8:35:42 PM): so, doesnt matter wat the bible says either? "do not forsake the assembly of the righteous"
Frank Whyte16 (8:36:11 PM): Does that statement say be in church every sunday? is a church the only place the righteous assemble?
Frank Whyte16 (8:36:28 PM): That's an interpretation
Her (8:36:43 PM): it saysa
Her (8:36:50 PM): ok whats another place?
Her (8:36:53 PM): name sum more
Frank Whyte16 (8:37:27 PM): Well the righteous should assemble everywhere . they should not be limited to coming together and expressing their christianity on sunday morning
Her (8:37:38 PM): no but church is not only on sunday morning
Her (8:38:09 PM): but either way, us aid " i odnt take part in organized religious activities"
Frank Whyte16 (8:38:36 PM): that doesnt mean i disavol my self of them. I jsut don't go sit in a pew to be a warm body
Her (8:38:47 PM): so what do u do?
Frank Whyte16 (8:38:58 PM): As far as what?
Her (8:39:14 PM): do u go to any church activities? or revivals? or anything?
Frank Whyte16 (8:39:35 PM): I go to church when i am moved to go to church
Her (8:39:45 PM): ok
Frank Whyte16 (8:41:46 PM): But religion is rampant with people who do what other people tell them to do and don't question it. unspoken rules are often the storngest
Her (8:42:02 PM): i dont agree
Her (8:42:08 PM): i dont go cuz people say go
Her (8:42:17 PM): i dont go cuz of sum unspoken rule
Frank Whyte16 (8:42:19 PM): That's you personally
Frank Whyte16 (8:42:25 PM): i didint say everybody lolz
Frank Whyte16 (8:42:41 PM): there are plenty of genuine people
Frank Whyte16 (8:42:47 PM): but its not about jsut going either
Frank Whyte16 (8:43:33 PM): all i'm saying is ive seen people take on ideas that were given to them, off the strength of the source of where it was coming from
Her (8:44:43 PM): brb i need to call my grampa
Her is away at 8:44:48 PM.
Her returned at 8:52:14 PM.
Her (8:52:24 PM): ok back
Frank Whyte16 (8:52:29 PM): wb
Her (8:52:43 PM): ?
Frank Whyte16 (8:52:51 PM): welcome back
Her (8:53:05 PM): o
Her (8:53:07 PM): thanx lol
Frank Whyte16 (8:57:08 PM): lolz anyway, society told women ti was ok to wear pants and they started wearin pants
Frank Whyte16 (8:57:17 PM): the same type of thing happens all the time
Her (8:57:56 PM): no they didnt
Her (8:58:03 PM): society tole us not to
Her (8:58:05 PM): so we rebelled
Her (8:58:14 PM): then they were forced to accept it
Frank Whyte16 (8:58:22 PM): either way its the same thing
Frank Whyte16 (9:00:36 PM): society allowed it to happen because it became convient for soicety to allow it
Frank Whyte16 (9:00:49 PM): the unwritten rules of society changed
Her (9:00:56 PM): liek i said, they were forced to accept it
Frank Whyte16 (9:01:00 PM): and now no one blinks an eye
Her (9:01:08 PM): they cant tie our legs together and make us wear skirts
Her (9:01:09 PM): so
Her (9:01:13 PM): wat cud they do
Frank Whyte16 (9:01:33 PM): The way women were kept form wearing pants before was that is was taboo
Frank Whyte16 (9:02:33 PM): If you were conidered a slut for wearing pants you still might wear pants but you would tihnk twice bout it
Frank Whyte16 (9:03:04 PM): the same way guys think twice about wearping pink and looking gay, and the way some woment to this day won't wear pants
...don't ask me why that took that lil spriritual digression..but it did...
I don't like gettin into i with people when it comes to such things cause usually it just becomes alot fo talking at each other... If u havent noticed by know I like to argue. People used to tell me I should be a lawyer when i was younger lolz...
Now to me rant from the other day..and let us rewind...
Me and the ex were on the phone again, and she said we should swap bodies for a day. In fact she said that ever guy should have to spend a day in a female's body to know what they go through. Now I know females go through a lot of crap, all the "Hey Shawty/Ma/Mami/Girl/Boo/Sweetheart" 's , all the gesturin and posturin guys do, all the promises of what they would do...
This, I am sure, is quite the hassle and somthing that your avg chica jsut would rather not deal with. I feel that, and I sympathize, really I do, but allow me, if you will to take you to the flip side of that coin... and to put things in perspective...
Her (3:28:07 AM): are u still thinkin about women
Frank Whyte16 (3:28:26 AM): yep
Her (3:29:02 AM): what r u thinkin
Frank Whyte16 (3:31:42 AM): currently, trying to figuire out what it takes to get ya;lls attention
Her (3:31:51 AM): lol
Her (3:31:54 AM): just go talk to us
Frank Whyte16 (3:34:48 AM): 1. Easier said than done. 2. I'f i'm at the point where i want to talk to her than shes already impresed me, im talkin before that whole stage
Her (3:35:15 AM): u mean u wanna talk to random gurls
Her (3:35:18 AM): i dont get #2
Frank Whyte16 (3:35:55 AM): No i dont want to talk to random girls, that's the whole point of #2. I don't believe in just walking up to females and starting a conversation
Her (3:36:35 AM): why?
Her (3:36:41 AM): thas how u meet people isnt it?
Frank Whyte16 (3:36:54 AM): no
Frank Whyte16 (3:38:24 AM): Because I don't want the burden of carrying on some casual conversation with someone im not interested in
Her (3:38:33 AM): lol
Her (3:38:45 AM): how will u know if ur interested or not, if u dont talk and get to know them
Frank Whyte16 (3:39:23 AM): I sitback and observe people. I can learn enough off that to know
Frank Whyte16 (3:40:07 AM): Very rare to meet smebody that gives off the right vibes
Her (3:40:24 AM): yes, especially if u judge that way
Frank Whyte16 (3:41:20 AM): I've yet to be wrong
Frank Whyte16 (3:45:54 AM): I guess u could say im picky like that
Her (3:45:59 AM): is ay
Her (3:46:02 AM): its judgemental
Frank Whyte16 (3:46:16 AM): how is it judgemental?
Her (3:46:30 AM): lots of ppl "look at me" and think im stuck up and bitchy from the wat they see me and the things i guess i appear to do
Her (3:46:42 AM): how i dont talk to other ppl that i dont kno
Her (3:46:59 AM): how i dont really smile alot (which i do but its only like, when im talkin to my friends and stuff)
Her (3:47:03 AM): how i dont mingle
Her (3:47:44 AM): they be like, ugh shes stuck up. shes a bitch, shes this shes that. then when/if they get to talkin to me and knowing me they realize they are all wrong
Her (3:48:08 AM): i smile and laugh all the time, and im friendly as heck, nice and caring. im just shy which is why i dont talk to random people
Frank Whyte16 (3:49:32 AM): who said anything about making judgement calls as to whether somebody is stuck up, or anything of that nature?
Her(3:49:46 AM): not specifically if they sre stuck u
Her (3:49:48 AM): up*
Her (3:49:57 AM): but u said u observe them and thats enuff to kno if ur interested
Her (3:50:16 AM): Frank Whyte16 (3:43:08 AM): Because I don't want the burden of carrying on some casual conversation with someone im not interested in
Frank Whyte16 (3:44:07 AM): I sitback and observe people. I can learn enough off that to know
Frank Whyte16 (3:50:44 AM): if im interested in a relationship with them, if there is no spark there is no spark, how is that judgemental?
Her (3:51:18 AM): u said u observe them and u decide! how can u know if u are interested in them without talking to them at all
Her (3:51:38 AM): how u kno if theres a spark
Her (3:52:07 AM): u dont even kno wat her voice sounds like
Frank Whyte16 (3:52:29 AM): im talking about people im around on a regular basis
Her (3:53:05 AM): hm well u said it like u were talkin about random gurls.
Frank Whyte16 (3:53:24 AM): I said i don't talk to random girls
Frank Whyte16 (3:53:27 AM): lolz
Frank Whyte16 (3:53:37 AM): thats what started all of this
Her (3:53:47 AM): ok... any u said that u dont talk to random gurls because....?
Her (3:53:51 AM): and*
Frank Whyte16 (3:54:47 AM): "Because I don't want the burden of carrying on some casual conversation with someone im not interested in"
Her (3:55:03 AM): exactly. thas why i said, how do u kno if your not going to be interested in them
Her (3:55:14 AM): if dont talk with them
Frank Whyte16 (3:55:50 AM): I didnt say that i knew i wasnt going to be interested in them, i said i wasnt interested in them
Her (3:56:09 AM): HOW DO U KNOW UR NOT INTERESTED? Just by how they look or sumthing?
Frank Whyte16 (3:57:03 AM): because by defalut before you meet someone your not interested in them because you don't know them lolz
Her (3:57:44 AM): i dont understand u
Her (3:59:05 AM): i can see a guy and be like, "oh he is sexy i wanna holla at him" but if i see a guy that doesnt make me do a double take, and he comes and talks to me, i wud talk to him and get to kno him, see what hes about. i wont decide if im interested or not until after i chat
Frank Whyte16 (4:04:03 AM): For me to be interested in a female there has to be a spark there. Out of the hundreds, of women ive come into contact with in my life only two have had that spark. So I don't just walk up and talk to random females because most likely they don't have that spark. Doesnt mean they couldnt, just not likely. I don't believe in kissing alot of frogs to find a princess
Her (4:04:32 AM): i seee
Her (4:04:34 AM): ok
Her (4:04:57 AM): well do it
Frank Whyte16 (4:05:09 AM): do what?
Her (4:05:16 AM): i dunno
Her (4:05:38 AM): so what r u thinkin about
Her (4:05:52 AM): how to get the one that gave u a spark to notice u?
Frank Whyte16 (4:06:48 AM): No, to fiquire out who is actually interested in me to weed out the potential females to speak to
Her (4:07:04 AM): ok lol
Her (4:07:19 AM): i dont think theres really a way to figure that out
Frank Whyte16 (4:08:04 AM): That's because ya'll like to keep that ish secret for some reason
Her (4:08:17 AM): cuz were scared!
Her (4:08:21 AM): no one likes rejection
Frank Whyte16 (4:09:36 AM): So why does everybody seem to be under the impression that guys should be out there riskin rejection, talking to random girls?
Her (4:10:29 AM): lol
Her (4:10:49 AM): were not "under the impression". Thas wat most guys do
Her (4:11:01 AM): is ee it all the time, and i think they are crazy
Frank Whyte16 (4:11:41 AM): They're just willing to play the numbers game cause most likely they're just lookin for a piece of ass
Her (4:11:58 AM): well wateva they lookin for
Her (4:12:00 AM): they do it
Her (4:12:05 AM): and they made the name for guys
Her (4:12:43 AM): 1. see a gurl 2. walk up and say sumthing 3. get rejected or get a number.
Frank Whyte16 (4:14:24 AM): Well i dont agree with that. I don't want chicas phone number unless I really want to talk to her
Frank Whyte16 (4:14:48 AM): I've wanted one female's phone number ever in my life and that was my ex
Her (4:15:43 AM): oh
Her (4:15:50 AM): i want lots of guys' numbers
Frank Whyte16 (4:17:17 AM): I'm not a phone person so if im getting someones number there better be a good reason why
Her (4:18:06 AM): i guess so
Why I was having this conversation at 4 something in the morning is beyond me....But anyway...Once again I leave you in the middle of a rant...but i'll be back later this evening to finish this one... |
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| Back Like Cooked Crack |
[Jun. 21st, 2005|02:28 pm] |
Yes last night was interesting, the topcis of convo ranging from educational paradigm, to grek life: frats and the lot, to religion, to the relativity of clothingand sexuality...lolz
So lets start with what started it all. I don't recall how but some way or another the topic of Cam'ron and his pink and purple came up and it was also menitoned that he has been seen frequenting "gay" clubs. Now I know notihng of the club thing, but why is the man's choice of a color to wear something to question his sexuality about? I wish i could copy and past part of the convo, that'll have to wait till later, but were you aware thst there were "girly" colors lolz.
C'mon people give me a break, don't b sheep. Not now nor ever has there ever been any profound link to sexuality and color.Pink is for girls blue is for boys is an aritificial construct and convention that has just stuck. If it was that deep why is it that no one bats an eye lash at women wearing blue? And don't give me that "women are more versatile" crap. Itz because its not that freakin serious. So I say from hence forth, all those guys who wear the pimnk polo's and what not they should be left alone to wear what they want, if you like it fine if ou don't you don't but don't question their sexuality on hte strengh of a color lolz. Either that or the color blue be disallowed in the wardrobes of every self-respctin hetrosexual female across the country....
Ok now moving on to greek life. I'm not greek, i know people that are, but my position is there just isnt any point to it. Now that isnt to say nobody should be greek, i just don't think it's the best thing since sliced bread. Everbody laud's the connections and life long friends and how being greek makes you "look good", but can't all of these things be obtaines without the need to be on somebody's "line"? Ah I nkow now, its that good ole greek hook up that is the attraction. "So and so is part of my frat so i'll hook them up with a job". How often does this happen people, really? Moreso, how often des i happen just off the strength of being greek. I'd be willing to wager that most of these hook up's are between people who know each other and have a history. Especially if it is a career position. After all nobody wants to bring incompetence in to their office, cause when the ish its the fan its their ass on the line.` My position has alwyas been if you deserve a job people will give you the job and if you dont deserve it you certainly shouldnt get it off the srength of being in a greek organization, or any other affiliation for that matter. I'm a big proponent of meritocracies, and have always takenthe position that you have to make the situation work for you when it comes to jobs and things fo that nature. If your application is so weak that its come down to that exgta 0.01 pts of your gap you didint get, or that little bit of experience, ro whater, then you havent done your job in making youself the best applicant you can be.
Well cine i cant get into the interesti tidbits cause i cant quote them, i guess I'll leave it at that till i can copy and paste and re-hash some of this stuff again lolz...don't you jsut look forward to it....lolz...
p.s. I've figuired out why my posts are so long. Its because I write here just like i think all day, rambling on in rants about various topics, yes i rant to myself in my head.....don't be scared...lolz..anyhoo jsut thought i'd throw that out there... And ys im gonna finish my rant form yesterday..lolz...
0n3 |
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| Well |
[Jun. 20th, 2005|08:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  dorky | ] |
Tonight has been..interesting... I'll prolly get into it later, like tommorrow or something cause tonight is till happeneing now...
But let it be known....
.... I am officially making my claim to take back the color blue !!!!!
...more on that later.... |
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| Good Morning America.... |
[Jun. 20th, 2005|11:24 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | artistic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Get Ya Shit Together - T.I. f/ Lil Kim | ] |
Just when I thouht things were gonna start slowin down for me here, i have alot of new things to explore. Sweeeet. Comcast still hasn set up my account, they really need to get that done so I can be at home on in internet. I forgot how much this song jams, "The Good, The Bad, The Ugly" ,Kanyeezy is definetly nice on the mic and producing as well, even if he did "steal" Gza's production style, evidently he's done something different with it cause everbody knows bout Mr West and not everbody knows how ill Gza is.
Any way, I kinda feel like rantin, but I prolly won't since i gotta get this work done. Right now im ahvin some technical difciultis that's why I'm here talkin to you. Listenin to "My Way" now, Kanye again.
I think I'm finaly gonna record these couple of tracks I have written. I was spittin one this morning and it just got me so hype. I wish I was a dj so I could scratch the hook, it would come out ill. I was sittin here "scratchin" with my voice and gettin all hyped cause I liked the way it sounded lolz.
Listenin to "Point Blank" by Styles P on this Professional Hood Shit pt 6. Has that time is money dropped? Damn... I'm so dettached from hip-hop, I used to know when things were droppin...
Me and the ex were on the phone again, and she said we should swap bodies for a day. In fact she said that ever guy should have to spend a day in a female's body to know what they go through. Now I know females go through a lot of crap, all the "Hey Shawty/Ma/Mami/Girl/Boo/Sweetheart" 's , all the gesturin and posturin guys do, all the promises of what they would do...
Gotta go, problem resolved I'll finish this rant later...
0n3 |
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| Damn birds... |
[Jun. 17th, 2005|07:18 pm] |
A freakin bird like flew in my hair this morning, it freaked me the hell out. Made miss an excllent photo op, i was jsut to jittery.
Comcast needs to get their ish together so i can be home and be doing this...
::sigh:: |
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